An old one but its always a good one

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best lovers in all categories are the Welsh."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Taff."

When it's ok to ask for your money back

xxx

Mens Restroom Mural Read before looking at picture Edge Designs is an all-women run company that designs interior office space They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC. The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all women execs. The result, well, we all know that men never talk, never look at each other (I personally wouldn't know this) and never laugh much in the restroom. The men's room is a serious and quiet place. But now, with the addition of one mural on the wall, let's just say the men's restroom is a place of laughter and smiles.

A lady told her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tail gate for dear life!

She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him. But a few weeks later, her neighbour saw this truck at the Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local taxidermist with a great sense of humour. And it is not a dog it is a coyote.

Can you imagine how many people try and stop this guy?

THIS is absolutely brilliant! Only an Aussie could pull this one off!

A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) Leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken.”

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".